February 10

Today's post is about a friend that was taken from us too soon. Her name was Lisa. Four years ago today she died from brain cancer. The cancer is called Glioblastoma which is a very aggressive form of brain cancer. From the first time she showed signs that something was wrong until she died was 6 days. I probably remember more about that week than most weeks of my life - the pain, the concern, the deep sadness.

Anyway, this is not about the sadness. This post is to highlight two kinds of acts of kindness, both that Lisa has given to me.

My husband grew up with seven other guys that he was close to in high school, and the guys stayed pretty close through college, even though they all went different directions. My first time meeting Lisa was at the wedding of one of these guys in 1999. I was nervous - these guys were a big part of my husbands life, and I wanted to make sure I got along with the girls. Lisa was the first of the girlfriends/wives I met. She immediately put me at ease and made me feel welcome. She gave me the back story on people and brought me into the "group" so I felt like I was one of them.

That friendship grew over the years. I've never been one to have friends that I communicate with daily. It's just never been my way (and I don't condone it, I'm just wired differently) but Lisa and I always maintained a connection even though our lives took different paths. She always focused on what was important to us and tried to help the best she could. You always felt special with Lisa. Her kindness was not random, but it wasn't something she forced. It just was. I still try every day to be a mom like her.

After Lisa died, we were all just a mess. She was the second one in our group that had passed away in 18 months time. (I will also write about Ryan someday - he's a great story of kindness too). My husband and I were not living in the town where he grew up, but came back to town and spent a week greiving with everyone. We made it through the calling hours (over 1000 people came to pay their respects) and the funeral. I was drained, distraught and depressed. We were driving from the cemetary back to the church to be fed, and we had the radio on. Suddenly, Bittersweet Symphony from the Verve came on the radio. It wasn't a popular song at the time, but one I always liked. In my head I visualized the last scene in the movie Cruel Intentions, where that song was used. In that scene the Reece Witherspoon character is driving away and suddenly this great feeling of calm swept over me. I remember thinking to myself - it is all going to be okay. To me, that was Lisa telling me that it was all going to be okay. And I still believe that was what she was trying to tell me. Any time I hear that song I think that is her, telling me it will all be okay. It has calmed me down more times than I can count in the last four years.

I was blessed to have known Lisa. And while I will be sad today, I will also appreciate the things she brought to my life and know that I am a better person because I knew her.